posted 25-Mar-2019  ·  
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After break could staff please wash their mugs and stand upside down on the draining board

(on a staffroom noticeboard)

One hour photographs. Ready tomorrow.

For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is a day-care center on the first floor.

(at a conference)

Open seven days a week and at weekends.

Maternity Unit. Please use the back entrance.

Weight watchers should use the double doors at the rear of the building.

Playground fine for littering.

Automatic door - push to operate.

(in hotel reception)

Closed for official opening.

Lions please stay in the car.

(at a safari park)

Please go slowly round the bend.

(traffic sign)

Could the congregation please note that the bowl marked ‘For the Sick’ at the rear of the church is for monetary donations only.

(Gervase Phinn’s Mangled English, Dalesman, 2013)

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