posted 18-Aug-2019  ·  
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Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy.

I used to be indecisive; now I’m not sure.

My reality check just bounced.

Rap is to music what paint by numbers is to art.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn’t work anyway.

The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

Real women don’t have hot flashes; they have power surges.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

A penny saved is worthless.


Fireman’s epic fail

Firemen called to an emergency at the home of Richard Derrick in Taunton, Somerset, England in 1990 were extinguishing a fire when the glass in Richard’s 80-gallon aquarium cracked from the heat, depositing 60 valuable tropical fish on the carpet. A quick-thinking fireman quickly scooped them up and immediately put them in another large fish tank. He didn’t realize that this tank was home to Percy the Piranha, who proceeded to have his lunch.

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